If you’re dating over 40, you come to the dating scene with a lot of experience from your past loves and relationships. Sometimes that experience can work in your favor—you know what you want and are better at identifying when things are and aren’t working. Other times, however, your experience can work against you. Here are 5 things many people dating over 40 may be doing wrong.

1. Talking too much about your ex/exes
Let’s face it, if you’re over 40 and single, chances are you’ve already been in several relationships, if not a marriage or two. One of the first questions that usually gets asked after you meet someone is, “So, why are you still single?”

So, of course, you start talking about your ex or exes and how they were horrible, or how they cheated on you, which conjures up any number of bad memories, and suddenly you realize that you’ve spent your first date looking back instead of forward. You chatted aimlessly about the people you’re no longer with instead of trying to get to know the person right in front of you.